On the development of an alternate personality

On the development of an alternate personality.

I leave this scrap to the winds, hoping that professionals will learn from my own experience.

I'm in the process of developing an alternate personality. It's not something that I have total control over, and in fact am trying to resist its attempts to surface.

However, its logic is compelling, attempting to justify itself in order that I might bodily and morally have some sort of escape clause built into consequences of any of my actions. The escape clause is 'mental illness'.

So, you can see it's contrived , yet it actually isn't because, as you see, I'm trying to resist it. I would compare this to the compulsion to shoot yourself in the foot to avoid military enlistment.

It's not something I really want to do, but here it comes again, saying how easy it would be to slip into dissociation in a serious way, thereby eliminating all responsibilities of life.

Now, I want to say that some days can be really bad, and some situations we find ourselves in can be trying, or bleak, or relentless. So this little voice, or not even a voice, but a word game being typed, shows up and starts typing suggestions to you. And you actually find yourself wanting to type it a reply.

Is this from loneliness? Oh, the phantom typist can come up with all sorts of reasons why it is present.

Anyway, professional head doctors, this is how it develops.

Do you know what a defense against it is? To assert that reality is NOT fluid, and other materialistic types of statements. But this is just a shadow defense, because to say that assertions can affect our minds is to say that in some fashion, reality IS fluid, and if it is, then there you are.

And all of this without drugs!